


The Eliot Spencer Job

by qwanderer



Series: Old Friends of Mozzie's [3]
Category: Leverage, White Collar
Genre: F/M, Invader Zim references, Multi, can be read independently of series but contains one repeating gag, established Pardison, slight MCU crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 20:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8768002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qwanderer/pseuds/qwanderer
Summary: The Leverage crew is doing one job. But Hardison, Parker and their New York contact's best friend are up to something else altogether.One way or another, Eliot is probably in trouble.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place maybe third or fourth season of both Leverage and White Collar, I guess? You don't really need to read the whole series to get it but there is some continuity between this one and WAKHTHTM.
> 
> Warning: This is not a case fic. You will never find out what the gemstone is for. This is about the people and their relationships developing.

_"And what'll happen if it doesn't work?"_

_Hardison frowned. "You go into every relationship wondering that? Why us more than them?"_

_"I don't do that great in relationships, period. This seems... more complicated."_

_"Really? That's your answer? We could be good together, man."_

_Parker pouted. "I want to help make you happy," she said._

_"Can't make everyone happy, Parker," Eliot told her._

_"I know that," she insisted. "Not everyone. Just two."_

_"No," Eliot said again._

* * *

"I think," said Nate, "that we might need to forge a gemstone, for this one." 

Parker pouted. "But I can steal anything!" 

"Can you steal a gemstone that doesn't exist?" Nate asked. 

Parker's face scrunched up. "I guess I do need help with that one," she admitted. 

"Can any of y'all forge gemstones? I can't forge gemstones," Hardison said. "That shit takes experience, plus serious equipment. And time." 

"We've got some time here," Nate said. 

"I might know someone," Eliot offered. "Who could set up and run a rig like that off the radar. And he's in New York." 

"Road trip," Parker sang. 

* * *

_You still bake rocks?_

_On occasion. Why?_

_My team and I have got a job going. It'll pay well, and it won't come down on you or anyone innocent._

_Agreeable, as far as it goes, but I want to meet this crew of yours first._

_Fine. We'll be in the city this weekend. Safehouse?_

_I don't know your compatriots well enough for that. We'll meet at June's. 351 Riverside. Saturday. Four o'clock._

* * *

"Alec!" 

"Neal!" 

They fell into a hug, tight and affectionate, with enthusiastic back-slapping, not caring one bit that the others were staring. 

"God, Alec, it's been a long time. I mean it's always great to get your emails, but we haven't actually _seen_ each other since...." 

"Since that night, right after you turned eighteen." 

* * *

_Alec had found this boy sleeping on a park bench near the bus depot, on his walk home from the latest midnight release party, and the values of his upbringing had kicked in hard. He woke the other teen and dragged him home._

_The guy had sleepily introduced himself as Danny, and then said, "No, wait, not Danny." He'd paused for a bit. "I guess... Daniel."_

_Nana didn't have any extra beds in her house - if she'd had them, she probably just would have been fostering more kids - so Alec bundled Daniel into his own bed, next to him, and they chatted while the warmth soaked into their bones enough that they'd be able to sleep._

_Every time Alec slipped and called him Danny, or even Dan, the other boy would correct him quickly._

_"It's Da_ niel, _damn it, I_ told _you," he finally snapped._

_"Woah, hey, okay, sore spot?"_

_"You could say that, yeah," Daniel had replied._

_"Well hey, if you really like the second part of your name so much better than the first, maybe I should just call you_ 'Niel, _how 'bout that?"_

_That prompted a burst of laughter, violent and hysterical. Alec hoped it wouldn't wake anyone in the house._

_"What? What'd I say?" he asked._

_"God, Alec, you can't have any idea how funny that is," Daniel gasped._

_"Sounds like a good one, let me in on it?" Alec asked gently._

_Daniel looked like he was trying to think of how to explain, and as the pieces came together in his mind, his laughter turned to sobs._

_Alec had wrapped his arms around the other boy, and held on tight._

* * *

Neal chuckled. "Long time ago, now, but I could never forget it." 

"Same, man," Hardison responded, grinning from ear to ear. 

"What? What happened?" Parker asked. 

Hardison paused for a moment, sharing a look with Neal, just barely glancing over at Eliot. "We slept together," he answered casually. 

"Oh. Cool," said Parker, and started eyeing the banisters. 

"Who's this?" Neal asked. 

"My girlfriend," Hardison introduced proudly. "Parker. Yes, _the_ Parker." Then he tilted his head in the direction of the others. "Eliot Spencer, I'm guessing you've heard about too, since he's the one who got us this meet." 

"Briefly," Neal answered. "Moz has a seemingly endless list of old friends. And old enemies. Remind me again which one he is?" Neal asked Mozzie. 

"Oh, both," Moz said earnestly. "We butted heads occasionally while he was running with Damien Moreau, but Clint's vouched for him since then. They did some kind of black-ops extraterrestrial coverup together for SHIELD." 

Eliot looked pissed, but he didn't dispute that description. 

"Suffice it to say things went sideways, and they ended up in one of my safehouses. And... well. Good cooking is the antidote to many sins. Plus I respect that since he got out of Damien's clutches he's remained an independent contractor but kept his hand in both crime and the blackest workings of the government. I appreciate a good inside source." 

"And I'm Nathan Ford," Nate introduced himself, addressing the words to Mozzie but then offering his hand to Neal to shake. "This is Sophie Devereaux. And now you both know my team." 

"Neal Caffrey," Neal offered in return. "And if your team is who I think they are, you've got an interesting reputation in the White Collar branch of the FBI for cleaning up cases the Feds couldn't get the evidence to prosecute." 

Parker frowned at Hardison. "You know a real FBI agent? I mean, we both do, but I mean... _he_ knows _you_? Alec Hardison?" 

"Not an agent," Neal corrected. He hiked up his pant leg. "More of an asset." 

"Oh," Parker said, eyes wide in realization. 

"Sometimes it's nice to have the feds on your side," Neal smirked. 

"Damn right," Hardison agreed. "Even better if they think it was their idea." 

"But mostly we just take care of things ourselves," Parker added. 

"Any of you carry?" Neal asked, frowning. 

"No," Nate answered. "We're not that kind of operation." 

"But I'm guessing the people you go up against are." He looked at Hardison with concern. 

Eliot frowned. "We do okay," he said. "And I don't like guns, but -" 

"Don't even finish that sentence, I'm serious," Neal interrupted. 

Eliot smirked a little. "Right, you've met Clint." 

Neal looked sort of fondly resigned. "Moz knows a lot of us, I guess." 


	2. Chapter 2

The team discussed the job and the gemstone needed for a few minutes, then Mozzie said, "A gem of that size will take a few days, as I'm sure you know." 

"You guys could stay here," Neal offered. "I'm sure June wouldn't mind." 

"June..." Sophie murmured, looking around the place. "That's right, that's why this place is so familiar. I know June." 

Nate looked around at all the art and antiques. "Please tell me we're not planning a job in the house of one of your marks," he told her. 

"Oh, June Ellington's far too clever to fall prey to a grifter, isn't that right, Neal?" 

Eliot cleared his throat. "So what do you call it when she lets one stay in her house even though he's on a tracking anklet?" 

"Mutually beneficial," Neal answered. "She likes getting in on the fun." 

"Well, Sophie and I were actually planning on staying with an old friend of mine from the insurance days, but you guys have fun," said Nate with a wave. 

"But do call me if June wants a visit," Sophie called as they walked out the door. 

"I'll go get started on that project," Mozzie said, and followed. 

Neal smiled at the three left behind. "So. Dinner at my place?" He gestured up the stairs. 

Neal cooked. 

Neal and Hardison made themselves comfortable in each other's space, and Hardison dragged Parker right along with him. Hardison, more often than not, had an arm around one of them, right up until they actually all sat down for dinner. 

All three of them laughed easily in each other's presence, and the conversation was lively. 

Eliot mostly just watched and listened. 

"So I already know Alec pretty well, but what are you into, Parker?" Neal asked with a flirtatious smile. 

"I love climbing gear," she answered immediately. "Always like having some with me." 

"Has its place I guess," Neal commented. "Not my favorite escape route generally, though." 

"Well, you're a grifter more than a thief," she said. 

Neal frowned. "I have my moments." 

"Exits involving jumping off buildings," Hardison said, "craziest story, go." 

"Oh, I've done it a couple of times - without a tether, even!" Neal said. 

"Parachuting doesn't count," Parker objected, "I've done that, you're still in-harness." 

"I only parachuted the once," Neal replied. "The other time was free fall right onto an awning." 

Parker gave him an impressed look. "Caffrey, you're crazier than me." 

Neal shrugged. "It was only a couple of stories, and I'd arranged to have the awning reinforced." 

Parker nudged him affectionately. "Still. Crazy person." 

"So what's been your most challenging grift?" Hardison asked next. 

"Undercover as a hard sell investment shark," Neal answered. 

"Oh, yeah, I kinda tanked at that myself," Hardison admitted. "I mean, it's tough to grift a bunch of professional grifters." 

"Suspicious bastards," Neal muttered. "Almost died on that case." 

"You're kind of well known as a thief, though, right?" Eliot contributed. "I mean, everyone said you stole that amber music box." 

"Yeah, they said it. No idea who actually got there first, though." 

"Oh, that was me!" Parker said. 

"You didn't go after the treasure map, though?" Neal asked. 

"I didn't know it _was_ a treasure map! I just wanted to steal it because everyone _else_ wanted it and no one else could steal it! I mean, of course I picked the lock and ran the second comb, but back then I didn't have a Hardison to decode it. Did you find the treasure?" 

"That I can neither confirm nor deny," said Neal. 

Hardison could see the shadows running close to the surface as they had been when Alec had first met 'Daniel.' The music box and the treasure weren't actually a good subject for him, although he hid it well. 

"But I know your real specialty is forgery. Now I don't even approach you in that area, but I did once get one of my creations authenticated by the experts... Told the team I knew someone who could do it, but we were overseas and didn't have the time." Hardison shook his head. "Really missed you when I was sweatin' over that one." 

Neal chuckled, and reached out to squeeze Hardison's hand in agreement and thanks. 

Parker pursed her lips, watching the two of them. "Is it bad that I didn't like seeing you flirt with other women but I kind of like seeing you flirt with Neal?" 

"It's just fine with me, baby," Alec replied. 

Eliot downed the last of his meal quickly and stood. "I'm goin' to bed," he told the room at large. 

The other three looked after him, each with a different speculative expression on their faces. 

"Is this making him sad?" Parker asked. "I don't want to make him sad." 

"I think it hurts, but not a bad hurt, you know, like, realizing how much you like pretzels? That part had to happen first." 

"Hey, no fair pulling me into this con with you without any prep and then talking in code even after the mark's left the room," Neal said. "I get enough of that from Mozzie. What's pretzels?" 

Parker stood up and walked around the table to curl up in Hardison's lap. "This one," she said, poking Hardison's cheek with a finger. "This one's pretzels." 

"And Eliot?" Neal asked. 

"He gave me a plant with teeth. But he pretended it was from Hardison. Because we're too complicated for him." 

"Ah." Neal sighed. "That's always rough. You want to make him realize that he actually thrives on complicated?" 

"And that so do we," Hardison said, smirking, but also gently rubbing a hand up and down Parker's back. 

After a while, the three of them curled up in Neal's bed, whispering secrets and thefts and cons and codes, hopes and wishes and dreams. 

They fell asleep with a daredevil thief curled up against each of Hardison's sides. 

* * *

They woke up to Eliot clearing his throat above them. By the time Hardison blearily opened his eyes, Eliot was turning away, saying, "I'm gonna go see if Moz needs any help with the gem." 

* * *

"Here to check up on me? I commend your paranoia, but everything's going smoothly." 

"Nah, you're good. Kinda worried about that Neal character, though. What do you know?" 

"Enough to know that my loyalty is to him over you," Mozzie answered. Then he frowned at Eliot. "Why?" 

"Him and Parker and Hardison? They're all real chummy. Found both of 'em sleeping in his bed this morning." 

Mozzie cocked his head. "Neal tends to attract all kinds of dangerous and remarkable people. Not to mention beautiful." 

"You think they're for real? That they're all... together? Just like that?" 

"Could be." 

"What's the alternative?" 

"Given the evidence I'm almost certain that Neal is Up To Something, but I wouldn't want to speculate on what." 

"Up to something, like Parker and Hardison are in danger?" 

"No! No. Probably not." 

" _Probably_ not?" Eliot growled. 

"Listen. I trust Neal implicitly. The only reason they'd be in danger from him is if they're planning something truly despicable. Murder, terrorism, biowarfare, that kind of thing." 

"Well, they're not." 

"In that case, my best guess is that they're all in on the same Something. And since they're keeping it from you, either they don't trust you as much as you thought, or they're trying to con you. So it just depends which of those things you think is more likely." 

Eliot was silent after that for a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Only one more scene to finish to get the last chapter up! Might happen tonight, even. Maybe tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

"I come bearing food," Mozzie said to the room at large as he let himself into Neal's loft. 

"Since when do you bring food here instead of stealing my crackers and drinking my wine?" Neal called from around the corner on the couch. 

"Since Eliot offered to pay, and to cook, in exchange for a tour of the best professional-paranoiac-vetted farmers' market stalls in Manhattan. He bought truffles, Neal! Truffles! Obviously we'll need the use of your kitchen." 

"Obviously," Neal agreed with barely a roll of his eyes. 

"Oh," Hardison sighed from beside him on the couch. "Until you have had Eliot Spencer's cooking, you have not _lived,_ man. He definitely gets as much kitchen as he wants." He gave Neal's shoulder a friendly shove. 

"Never said otherwise," Neal replied, putting his arm around Alec's shoulders in the guise of turning to talk to the new arrivals in his kitchen. "It's not much, but it can work. Let me know if you need help finding anything." 

"I wanna know how Mozzie's cooking is going," Parker said from her perch on the arm of the couch on the other side of Neal. "How's our diamond?" 

"Delightful," Mozzie answered. "It reached the specified size earlier this morning. The crucible is cooling now. It'll still be a few hours before it's ready to be taken out, cut and polished." 

"You guys are awesome," she said, then tweaked Neal's ear. "Hey, Neal, can you make me some bonds sometime? I promise not to sell them. I just want to look at them and know that I _could._ " 

"Maybe," Neal answered, squeezing her foot where it rested on the cushion beside him. "I'll save that for a special occasion, though." 

Mozzie pointed out some of the kitchen basics, then left Eliot to his work, sitting in a chair where he could watch over both the cooking and the trio on the couch. "So," he began, watching Neal curiously. "I think I'm getting a handle on the interest between you three. Hardison, you've got Neal's swagger, and you're drawn to people the same way he is. You both paint, you both like your prime real estate with a view. And Parker, of course heights, sneaking, safecracking, and money in all its forms. You've both got a lot in common with Neal. But I don't know the two of you well enough to take a guess - is there anything both of you have in common that Neal doesn't?" 

Neal gave Eliot a long and significant look, since the man's back was to them as he browned shallots on the stove. But then he turned back to Moz to give another answer. "Invader Zim," he said, gesturing to Hardison's laptop on the coffee table in front of them. "Please save me from that show." He rubbed his fingers across his temple in a show of exasperation. 

"You have to admit, Dib is a gift," Hardison argued. 

"I like the Tallest," Parker insisted. "Lasers!" 

"The color palettes alone hurt my soul," Neal said. 

Eliot didn't really talk much until after the food was done, but he was definitely listening. 

* * *

Monday morning saw the trio still in bed, despite Neal's protests that he needed to get up. 

"Neal, you running late today?" came a voice through the door. "I don't wanna have to drag you out of bed. But we have a case." 

The door swung open, and in came a man in a suit. 

"Peter! Hey!" Neal said. "Yeah, sorry, bit of a slow start, these two are just really distracting." 

"So this is why your tracking data has you at home for most of the weekend? You've got company." 

"Yeah, I have some friends over," Neal said. 

None of them moved from the bed. Hardison made grumpy noises and clung more tightly to Neal. 

"I told you guys I had to get up for work. I warned you. Anklet means no right to privacy." 

Parker shrugged. "Privacy's overrated." She made no effort at all to cover her breasts. 

Peter raised his eyebrows. "So, Neal, who are your 'friends'?" 

"You remember the rooftop garden where we set up the Fashion Week sting? Alec was the friend. He can work the investment markets in all kinds of ways but just dabbles in real estate. We've known each other since we were teenagers." 

"Okay, fair," Peter nodded, "how do you know her, what's she do?" 

"Oh, I'm a thief," chirped Parker. 

Peter rolled his eyes. "I never heard that." 

Parker smiled. "Nice." 

Hardison gave her a look. 

"What? Sophie taught me how to recognize an easy mark. I didn't think he'd fall for the 'fellow FBI agent' story the way Agent Sweeten always does." 

"Oh, I _definitely_ did not just hear that," Peter groaned. 

"All right!" said Neal loudly, extricating his boxer-clad self from the bed and from Hardison. "I've got to get ready for work, but feel free to stick around, all right, guys? I'll be back... actually, who knows when. But I hope I'll see you around." 

He went to change, and Peter just watched them, a thoughtful half-glare on his face, until Neal emerged, dressed and ready. 

"What's the case?" Neal's voice drifted back as he ushered Peter out the door. 

"Oh, the usual, fraud and forgery. I thought you and Sara...." 

It trailed off into faraway murmurs as the two went down the stairs. 

Eliot poked his head in soon after. Parker still refused to cover up, so Eliot directed his gaze out to the terrace. 

"What is going on with you two and that guy?" he asked after a minute. 

Parker shrugged. "We slept together." 

"And it's just... that simple? Really?" 

"Don't know what you mean by 'simple'," Hardison argued, rolling over enough to smush his face into Parker's side, but not enough to make him inaudible. "People are complicated." 

"Feelings are complicated," Parker agreed. "Doesn't matter how many or whether there's sex. It's all complicated." 

"People are worth it, though," Hardison said. 

Parker skritched at his hair affectionately. "Neal's... he's good, but he _gets_ the not-so-good stuff." 

Eliot opened his mouth to ask more, but then frowned and closed it again, like he'd realized it wasn't his business. Then he opened it again. 

"What's Invader Zim?" 

The other two beamed at him, and ushered him to the sofa. 

* * *

That night, the crew and their diamond reassembled in June's living room. Neal was there as well, and when Nate and Sophie dragged Sara Ellis in behind them, she went straight to Neal and gave him a kiss that started casual, but soon became deep and almost claiming. 

"So, Nate tells me he's into crime now," Sara said with a gleeful smile once she'd got her breath back. "Asked if I could maybe do a couple of things for him on this latest job. I should have expected it to be here, and to involve you." 

Neal shrugged. "I'm not really involved, so much as an observer. I've got other things going on right now." He grinned at her. "Sara Ellis, getting involved in crime without me? Very sexy." 

"Wait, wait," Eliot said, frowning at the couple. "You're with someone else _and_ you're with them?" He gestured to Parker and Hardison. 

Neal's expression turned wry. "I'm not actually with them. Strictly platonic bed-sharing was happening." 

"What." Eliot looked dumbfounded. 

"What can I say, I'm a grifter more than a thief." Neal looked at the two on the sofa. "They're yours, Eliot, they were always yours. They just... enlisted my help to try and get you to see that they _could_ be." 

Eliot glared at them. "You really went through with all that just to get to me?" 

"Mostly," Parker admitted. "Neal's not bad to hang out with, though." 

"He's a good friend," Hardison said, "a _very_ good friend, but just a friend." 

Eliot stared at them for a moment more, then made an angry hissing noise through his nose, and said, "Fine." He plunked himself down on the sofa between the two. 

They grinned at each other for a moment, then inched closer, making an annoyed Eliot sandwich. The lines of Eliot's fame softened ever so slightly. 

Nate clapped his hands and drew his team's attention. "All right, everybody," he said, "let's go steal the State of the Union."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it done! goonight!

**Author's Note:**

> I know my track record with WIP crossovers is not the best but I swear I have most of this written! I only have a couple of scenes to smooth out!


End file.
